I Want to Play a Game
by Ramona Bandicoot
Summary: Telling a sarcastic thief you want to play a game after arresting them might not be the smartest thing to do. -oneshot-


**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Sly Cooper characters; they belong to Sucker Punch Productions. All games mentioned belong to their rightful owners.

**Claimer:** I own all of my original characters.

_Another random oneshot I thought up when I was bored. So, please read and review and let me know what you think. Thanks!_

I Want to Play a Game

I sighed as I stretched out the cot in my jail cell. The constant bang of a shoe against the metal bars of the cell door kept me from drifting off to sleep or think how to escape in peace. I had to admit, getting arrested and thrown into the Contessa's prison in Prague was probably the worst things that's happened to me so far. Well that and getting stabbed in the back by Neyla but that was another story. I turned and looked at the raccoon smacking her foot to the cell door. Ramona hadn't been part of Neyla's backstabbing charade, but she was arrested in Prague after assaulting one of the Contessa's guards. According to her, Bentley, who hadn't been arrested, had called her to come down for a little help. Sadly, Ramona's temper had landed her in the same problem I currently found myself in. she had been trying for an hour to kick the door in but had gotten no where.

"Ramona," I said sternly and her kicking stopped momentarily, "You can't kick that door in." she turned her head to face me and huffed.

"Yes I can! I can and I will kick this door in. Just watch." She said confidently before resuming her assault on the door.

"It's a push door, Ramona. You can't kick it in." she stopped kicking and turned to me. Her lips formed an 'O' shape and she shuffled to the cot I was on. I moved my feet so she could sit then rested them on her lap once she was seated. I chuckled at her efforts before hearing her sigh. We were basically stuck in a cell before we were each sent to our own sections of the jail. Murray had already been sent to the other side of the jail and I could only think that we were next.

"Well," she sighed, "I'm out of ideas." Ramona rested her head on the wall behind her and closed her eyes, "You got any ideas?"

"Just sit and wait." She opened one eye and gave me an annoyed look. I simply laughed and waited for something to happen. My ears perked and I sat up with I heard the soft click of the Contessa's feet against the floor of the jail. I lifted my feet from Ramona's lap and we both looked towards the door, waiting for the spider to make her way to our cell. The Contessa eventually made her way to the front of our cell I heard Ramona growl softly. It was obvious she was not a fan of the warden.

"What do you want?" Ramona spat to the woman. The spider simply chuckled and folded her arms across her chest.

"My dear," she woman sneered, "I simply want to play a little game." She turned her head quickly and spoke to the vulture behind me. Ramona leaned close to my ear and whispered softly.

"I've got an idea," she breathed, "Just follow my lead and don't say anything." I nodded and she sat up.

"Like I said," the Contessa said after turning to us again, "I want to play a little game." Ramona smiled and there was no telling what she was planning.

"A game?" she said excitedly, "What kind of game? I want to play." She gave her a sly smile and moved her eyebrows up and down quickly. I could tell the warden was slightly taken back by Ramona's question and so was I.

"Uhh…" the spider was thinking for an answer but Ramona kept going.

"Is it a board game? I _love_ Clue; just saying. But not Monopoly, that game takes forever." She shrugged and the Contessa furred her eyebrows.

"No…" she said slowly but Ramona kept going.

"Oh! Jenga! That was my game as a kid! Are we playing that?" the spider shook her head, "What about Sorry? I hope not, I'm not a big fan of that game." I chuckled quietly and knew where she was going with this. She was trying to find a way to annoy the webs out of that spider.

"No!" the Contessa shouted with a huff but Ramona smiled.

"Good," her ears perked and she kept chattering, "Are we playing a card game? Those are the most practical, you know. I deck of cards and so many games! Go fish, fifty-two card pick up, black jack, poker, Texas hold 'em, twenty-one, B.S, spit, spoons, and then don't even get me started on the various card tricks."

"No! We are not playing some stupid card game!" she was getting irritated and Ramona knew it.

"Don't tell me we're playing some stupid first person shooter game, I hate those," the Contessa cocked her head and Ramona continued, "I mean, I find them really boring now. If I really wanted to shoot something then I'd steal a paintball gun, a few paintballs, find some squirrels, and go to town. The same thing with racing games; if I want to go zooming down the street in a car, I have my own." I had to look away from the raccoon to keep from laughing and letting the Contessa see, but I had to admit, Ramona was good at annoying people.

"No! I'm not talking about some stupid first person shooter game or a racing game!" the spider shouted and Ramona nodded.

"Wait, wait, wait, let me stop you there," she put a finger up to the spider and continued, "Don't tell me we're going to play one of those Grand Theft Auto games. If I want to see some pimp get mad at his ladies and shoot them in the street or if I want to see a gut steal a car, shoot a cop, or buy drugs, all I have to do is go down to Grand Avenue behind my house with a lawn chair and some popcorn."

"Look you blundering idiot!" the Contessa shouted, "I'm not talking about some pimp and prostitute game and I'm not talking about any of the stupid card games you've mentioned. I'm talking about a game where your life is on the line. A game where you either live or die!" Ramona knitted her eyebrows together and cocked her head.

"Oh, so like…" she thought briefly before lifting her head and raising an eyebrow, "…The Game of Life?"


End file.
